Iftop consumes a lot of CPU but far enough to make the machine slower, so I can't see where is the bottleneck at this moment.
Other users with virtual OPNsense on proxmox confirmed it worked OK for them. I don't think I confirmed if they were passing through their adapters though.
I would agree in as much as its is more likely Proxmox - Virtio - Freebsd related rather than specifically OPNsense.