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I ran into something similar, and what worked for me was checking the routes again after making the gateway changes—they didn't apply right away until I reset the states and rechecked the associated firewall rules. You might also want to look into https://openeverything.us/ for some useful guides and real-world setups that go a bit deeper into these kinds of multi-WAN configurations with policy-based routing.

To set up dual ISP load balancing and failover using L2L VPNs to an external VPS, I suggest that you dedicate a VPN for each connection. That way, you have more control over the individual ISPs, and it can give you better performance and reliability, especially if one connection goes down. You could use BGP to manage the routing between the two ISPs and automatically switch to the backup if the primary ISP fails. It's a bit of work setting it all up, but once it's running, it's super smooth. I'd also recommend monitoring your connections regularly to ensure everything works as expected. A dedicated vpn helps keep things stable.

I'm not an expert, but first, make sure you've got IGMP Proxy enabled and properly configured. Double-check those settings, and also make sure your LAN and WAN interfaces are set up correctly.