unresponsive internet when downloading anything above 3mb/s

[clutchmaster]

ok been running a bare metal for about a week now everything is good and fast even capping out my isp bandwidth of 40mb/s but have encountered abit of an issue when downloading anything above 3mb/s where trying to do anything else on the net becomes unresponsive or i have to wait minutes for the the web page or youtube video to continue loading while downloading
its as if opnsense is set to prefer larger packet priority

ive tried fresh install but that hasnt helped im not sure where to go from here
and it seems it only affects my traffic on the network others webpages and youtube vids load decently fast even when i get close to my isp's bandwidth cap of 40mbs

specs
intel core i7 3770k(no hyperthreading)
4x4gb(16gb) 1600mhz ddr3
intel pro/1000 vt quad port/intel onboard nic(bridged together LAN)
realtek 2.5gb as the WAN cant turn on any offloading with this but thats a different issue
netgear night hawk for wifi
2x16gb sata ssd (zfs no redundancy)

[clutchmaster]

gave up and moved to PFsense since opnsense has a non mature gui for traffic shaping and pfsense does

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd4QZz60qG0&ab_channel=ChrisTitusTech