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I am experiencing a similar (possibly same) issue. The following is my behaviour. I have not been able to get a clear pattern of the outages but they usually are in the 10s of seconds and the following is affected

- same lags at online gaming. Basically the game hangs and eventually disconnects
- discord calls are broken during that period of time. People can still hear me but I am unable to hear them
- streaming on TVs in the house seems to be affected in the same way altough I cannot be certain that it's the same issue

My guess is that traffic of ingoing udp traffic is affected. As e.g. I can still run a speedtest on my mobile phone which seems to work just fine so I guess tcp is working. I have already set the firewall optimization to conservative but that did not solve the issue. Will update if I find the cause. Would be great if someone has an idea as I am a little lost at the moment.

Also IDS/IPS or traffic shaping rules can be imperceptibly interfering. Your NAT configuration can also create edge cases under load. You can get distracted by another game while you are troubleshooting. I often look at https://icasino-reviews.co.nz/plinko/ as they often give bonuses and are easy to get started with. Also, maybe try temporarily disabling features like Suricata and see if the problem persists.

Sounds like UDP packet loss or routing instability; try testing another network, checking ISP logs, or temporarily disabling QoS/firewall rules!

That error usually means SCTP isn't supported/loaded in your OPNsense kernel, and coturn can still work without it. Try disabling SCTP in config or ignore it if using UDP/TCP/TLS only.
For Nextcloud Talk, you'll likely need to manually open the relay port range (e.g., 49152–65535 UDP) on WAN-plugins often don't auto-create those rules.

I would suggest to create the simplest topology for the wifi (no virtual IP addresses, no CARP, no firewall aliases (just any as destination).

Then retry if you have issues.

If not, introduce these features back in one by one.

Best if you use a new vlan you send out via another SSID to check.

Maybe the devices don't like using a vietual CARP MAC address as their gateway, or something about the firewall policies is wrong.

As general rule of thumb, reducing complexity is always a good way to catch bugs.

Simplifying first often reveals hidden issues. Rebuilding step by step with a clean VLAN and SSID is a smart troubleshooting approach.