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Had similiar problems (completly broken perfomance after upgrading on a virtio nic on proxmox, in my case mostly natting)

I got the tipp on irc to disable the HW offloading, which needs assigned and enabled interfaces to the parent interfaces (which I didn't have because I had only subinterfaces due to VLANs), which fixed the problem. Seems to be a problem with freebsd 13.