I agree with @Sheridan Computers above. I've had Proxmox working with OPNSense (and a Pihole) for the last couple of years on modest hardware (a thin client) with a 4-port network adapter (in pass-thru). I don't remember having to follow a guide, but there are plenty of them out there if you're not that familiar with the process.
Whilst my OPNSense config is relatively simple (PPPoE WAN, DHCP, Firewall, a few VLANs), it's still much more adaptable than a bog-standard consumer router.
I also have several other acquaintances who use Proxmox and OPNSense without any issues.
Never had a problem with software upgrades either, although I always take a snapshot first just in case.
Maybe, just maybe, the problem you're having isn't with Proxmox and OPNSense.
Whilst my OPNSense config is relatively simple (PPPoE WAN, DHCP, Firewall, a few VLANs), it's still much more adaptable than a bog-standard consumer router.
I also have several other acquaintances who use Proxmox and OPNSense without any issues.
Never had a problem with software upgrades either, although I always take a snapshot first just in case.
Maybe, just maybe, the problem you're having isn't with Proxmox and OPNSense.